Actual megadungeon

Undermountain. Castle Greyhawk. Rappan Athuk. IKEA. What is this hobby's fascination with megadungeons? In any case, here's images of a real life megadungeon I found lurking in a bookmarks folder. Head ye to Turkey and dig (haha) Derinkuyu, Kaymakli or the other underground cities of Cappadocia. Just don't forget the garlic.

 

 

Hirelings vol.2: the sorry lot of 'em

Hirelings. They smell. They bumble. They faint when they should fight and preach when you try to rest. Ready to become their employer? Finding a sellsword or two will be easy as long as you can spend some cash to get the word out.

We're hiring

The table below lists all the hirelings available in the local area. To track down your future hireling, go around the local watering holes, hang up posters, hire a town crier or even a bard to spread the news. Then check out the table below, find the right die for your PR campaign and charisma (who's a dump stat now?) and roll for your hireling.

CHARISMA	3-4	5-8	9-12	13-17	18+
10 gp	1d1	1d4	1d6	1d10	1d12
25 gp	1d4	1d6	1d10	1d12	1d20
50 gp	1d6	1d10	1d12	1d20	1d30
100 gp	1d10	1d12	1d20	1d30	your pick

Hiring a bard means you get to use their swanky charisma instead of your own to roll a bigger die. Bigger dice get you further down the list, where the more skilled hirelings are. Then again, the lower numbers will get you that unique Skyrim Henchman feel.

Hiring a bard to hire your hirelings

Charisma 14: 10 gp.
Charisma 18: 40 gp. 

You mean you literally only want me for what you consider a dump stat?

Yes. Now sod off and find us someone who likes to get stabby.

Hireling table

1	Edrik the Stalwart Porter 1 1 sp/day	Human, Karrnath Complains when hungry, wet, sleepy, alive.
2	"Powder" Jenkins Sage 1 4 sp/day	Gnome, Cyre Alchemist. Druggie. Prepares his own.
3	Theo the Barrel Porter 1 1 sp/day	Halfling, Aundair Eats. Everything.
4	Blind Steggis Torchbearer 1 2 sp/day	Halfling, Breland Runs and hides when threatened
5	Yip Torchbearer 1 2 sp/day	Kobold, Droaam Obsessed with dragons
6	Smiling Bertolt Crossbowman 1 3 sp/day	Human, Aundair Actually a bard looking hard for recognition. In over his head.
7	Grey Ashdrak Brute 1 3 sp/day	Hobgoblin, Darguun Macho, alpha male. Noisy as fuck.
8	Mad Kolviss Locksmith 1 3 sp/day	Gnome, Aundair Advantage to find traps. Paranoid; takes ages to check EVERYTHING
9	Stitchy Holmes Battlefield healer 1 3 sp/day	Human, Breland Leaves sloppy scars (Heal 4 hp/day)
10	Akkin One-Tusk Halberdier 1 4 sp/day	Half-Orc, Thrane Silver Flame zealot. Judgmental
11	Kaffiyah Darkmoon Scout 1 5 sp/day	Elf, Valenar Inferiority complex, hero worship
12	Breaker Ulf Shieldbearer 1 5 sp/day	Dwarf, Eldeen Reaches Flashbacks to tunnel fighting
13	Blackfang Gilla Brute 2 6 sp/day	Lizardman, Q'barra Stoic, fatalist. Pronounces others' doom at slightest misfortune. Anyone hurt gets left behind.
14	Qreshianna Battlefield healer 2 6 sp/day	Kalashtar, Aundair Very touchy-feely. Path of Light preacher (Heal 8 hp/day)
15	Dariel Longshot Crossbowman 2 6 sp/day	Half-Elf, Thrane Nationalist. Changeling on the run
16	Gear Locksmith 2 6 sp/day	Warforged, Cyre Finds death traps fascinating
17	Mikaela Forgehold Shieldbearer 3 15 sp/day	Dwarf, Mror Holds Follows the Host. Ever so slightly hunted by House Thuranni
18	Dargo the Hound Scout 2 10 sp/day	Shifter, Karrnath Wildhunt (wis). Blood of Vol follower. Moonlights (haha) as bounty hunter
19	Witchbottle Halberdier 2 8 sp/day	Hobgoblin, Breland Vow of silence. Intent stare. Listens to whispering bottle.
20	Eyes-only Jaleel Torchbearer 4 8 sp/day	Elf, Breland Alert feat. In it for the adrenaline
21	Alvis the Penitent Sage 4 16 sp/day	Half-Elf, Cyre Religion/Arcana, Ritual caster [1]. Masochist; automutilation; Mockery monk
22	Zakra the Hammer Brute 3 9 sp/day	Shifter, Eldeen Reaches Beasthide (AC). Not a fan of subtlety; plans; Aundarians. Owns trained bloodhound
23	Hilda Swiftfingers Locksmith 4 12 sp/day	Dwarf, Karrnath Dungeon delver feat. Kundarak reject because of low birth
24	Lida the Kind Battlefield healer 4 12 sp/day	Halfling, Talenta Plains Magic initiate [2]. House Jorasco healer. (Heal 16 hp/day)
25	Ovak Longstride Halberdier 4 16 sp/day	Half-Orc, Shadow Marches Noble savage type (50% chance Cultist of the Dragon Below)
26	Bulwark Shieldbearer 4 20 sp/day	Warforged, Karrnath Heavily armored feat. Bodyguard; Deneith Defender's Guild
27	Paelias the Knife Crossbowman 4 12 sp/day	Half-Elf, Lhazaar Principalities Crossbow expert feat. swashbuckler, follows the Traveler. Total hit with the ladies.
28	Philena Silverfire Sorceror 3 15 sp/day	Human, Thrane Draconic - fire. Pyro. Silver Flame. Demonhunter.
29	Corpsegrinder Ranger 3 15 sp/day	Gnoll, Drooam Hunter archetype. Takes a bite out of everything he (she?) kills
30	Dreyga Blackwing Barbarian 3 15 sp/day	Human, Seren Path of Rage. Totem quest. Frazetta armor. Black dragon wings tattooed on shoulder blades.

[1] Rituals known: Comprehend Languages, Identify
[2] Cantrips: Spare the Dying, Resistance. Spell: Healing Word

Eberron s1e2 - let's flog this hobbo shite

Second session of our Eberron game. With way, way more stabbage, death, activating an artifact, more mayhem and death, avoiding upset dinosaurs, a run on udder salve, returning to civilisation and getting fleeced by Halfling healers, selling hobgobbo antiques, narrowly avoiding getting knifed to death in an alleyway, and scoring posh train tickets.

Recap

The players found ancient Dhakaani hobgoblin ruins and the resting place of legendary Dirgesinger Jhazaal. Over 9000 years ago, she fled in disgrace after losing a series of battles with unnatural hordes from the plane of Xoriat. Jhazaal lies buried with the mighty horn Ghaal'duur, which strikes fear in the hearts of enemies of the goblin race and fills goblins with mighty anger. After knocking out their two goblin porters (understandably pissed off that filthy non-goblins are looting Jhazaal's remains), the party takes a quick breather.

Roll call

• Falco, Human wizard 1 out of Karrnath, former acolyte of the Church of Vol, looking to become a freelancer of the Finder's Guild. Ultimately: in search of immortality.
• Rathan, (Stout) Halfling ranger 1 out of the Talenta Plains, an outlander warrior searching far and wide for news about his disgraced, outcast family member (who at this point has neither name nor background).
• Merrick, halfling Lhorsan, High Elf rogue 1; the player decided he wanted something else than the halfling he rolled up, so reskinned his character into this Elf with a haunted past. Free life-sucking cursed item for me to screw with, yay! We decide Lhorsan has always been with the party. Apparently he's a master of disguising himself as a halfling.

Session report

Mild carousing occured at the end of the session, but the group has been remarkably tight-lipped about their adventure. Here's what is known.

Stuff that's fun to write down even though the group didn't spread the story in their carousing is indented like this.

Ventured out from Gatherhold a week ago, in the employ of the disgraced scholar Hedrak. Returned with a diseased Hedrak and checked him in at the healing hands-enclave of House Jorasco. Sold antique Dhakaani weapons out of rare and exotic Byeshk metal for ~2500 gp total. Hit level 2 at the end of the session with some carousing.

In a small village of Dhakaani cave dwellings, had a hard fight with creatures from the dark under the world. Two Dolgrims and a Dolgaunt almost take the party down, but liberal applications of necromancy and Byeshk hammers turn the tide.

Employer Hedrak freaks out during the whole affair: don't hurt these specimens too much, they'll fetch a better price if you can mount them without visible wounds! ...Are you using those antique weapons to bash in their brains?? Put down that priceless relic! Mercifully, the Dolgaunt decides to bore into him with a thousand tiny tendrils, which shuts up the archeologist nicely. And gives him a beautiful infection for the party to deal with later.

Group barricades a room to take a long rest and recuperate. Lhorsan's armband prevents him from regaining hit points. Instead, he plays a bit of a tune on the ARTIFACT OF DOOM TO GOBLIN FOES. Will saves are made and failed, and the party races away from the sound of their impending death. Lhorsan is less affected. Looking around, he sees that Vrotmort, one of their goblin prisoners has managed to break his bonds. Bit of an adrenaline surge to hear the old battlesong, really. A well-placed illusion buys Lhorsan the time to rejoin the party. Soon, the sense of doom subsides. Having left all his equipment behind, Falco heads back for his spellbook and takes out the enraged goblin with sweet necromantic power. Lootage continues.

After all this, avoiding a belligerent Glidewing is just one more thing on the to-do list. The party decides not to push their luck and leaves the heap of shiny underneath the nearby Glidewing nest be for the moment.

Halfling chief Iliera rides up to the hammered, broken and bleeding group a couple of miles from the cave dwellings and is genuinely puzzled why anyone would want to enter into the haunted caves. She gives the group a pot of udder salve (good for little scrapes and bruises) which the party promptly slathers all over each other.

Party pays Jorasco Halflings to use actual remove disease magic on Hedrik after basic care does bupkis. Grateful Hedrak offers to share the findings of the expedition as if the three were actual full members instead of henchmen. Henchmen make it clear that this is already the de facto situation, but don't make too much of a point out of it.

Sold two antique Dhakaani weapons made out of aberration-killing Byeshk. Sale one to Black Axe Outfitters by Lhorsan went ok; sale two by Falco to a band of Hobgoblins was about to go south until a friendly Half-Orc named Artosh stepped in.

Half-Orc introduces himself as Artosh, expedition master for Tymen Rand. Rand is an extremely wealthy adventurer and a member of the Wayfinder Foundation. Talking to Falco, Artosh offers to get the party into the annual Wayfinder Auction so they can sell any other finds from their adventure at a decent price and get famous. A deal is struck; the PCs and Hedrak will board the lightning rail to Fairhaven to attend the Auction, sponsored by Tymen Rand Expeditions.

Item: Exalted Servant Band

"Hey man, can I change my character? And I'd like to have a cursed item which eats my health." Sure thing!

One of my players wanted to switch out his character (apparently unsatisfied that his halfling had survived the session) and wrote up a nice back story - I'll paraphrase:

Mysterious organization kidnaps orphans to a woodland refuge during the Last War. Experiments on them with weird elixers and hurtful magic items. At the end of the war, a circle of nearby Druids break up the nefarious scheme. Any surviving orphans get a potion recipe to help fight off lingering effects from the research.

The character now wears a non-removable metal band with 3 dragonshard crystals around his bicep. Every long rest, roll 1d6:

1d6	Level 1-3	Level 4-6	Level 7+
1	One level of exhaustion	One level of exhaustion	2d3 hit dice spent
2	1 hit die spent	One level of exhaustion	2d3 hit dice spent
3	1 hit die spent	2 hit dice spent	2x level damage
4	1x level damage	2 hit dice spent	2x level damage
5	1x level damage	1x level damage	1 year of your life
6	2x level damage	2x level damage	1d3 years of your life

Here's your stinky cavern

Suddenly there's a game on for Friday. I should be prepping the town the party will probably head for. Instead, I now have a procedural cave system. Ah, the sweet fruit of procrastination. (Why write this up? Because the players ran to the edge of my prep last session when they asked what was down a twisty tunnel into the underground.)

The physicist in me wants to look into graph theory to see if this branches enough to be interesting. Simulationist tendencies scream for ways to reconnect branches, add rivers, faults, old mines and so on. (Basically I'm in jealous awe of Veins.) My few programming neurons wonder if I could automate this easily. And my inner DM is seething that it needs more dakka traps.  In any case, this cave system is out of my head now. Finally, time to fill a town with messed up Halflings.

Exploring cave system near Gatherhold

Tunnel sneaks down in turns and inclines; branches and connects to caves, underground river and chasms.

Roll 1d10 & 1d4, every stretch of corridor is 1d3 x 50 yards:

1-2 slope down; 3 slope up; 1-3 left, 4 right	7 chamber, 1-2 other exits; encounter
4 level stretch; 1-2 arcs left, 3 right, 4 ahead	8 hard climb to 1d2 exits 20 ft up/down
5 split into two; 1-2 up, 3-4 down	9 ends in flowing stream to other area
6 steep incline; 1-3 down; 4 up; climb 15 (10 w/equipment) or fall 1d6 damage	10 1 dead end; 2-3 perception 15 finds tight squeeze; 4 hidden doorway

Every 3 rolls on the table above, roll for encounters. Each time you roll 7 or 8, pick a new creature from the list. Entries 7 start unfriendly, entries 8 start neutral. Skill checks are athletics / acrobatics to avoid hilarious flailing, falling, noise, random encounter checks, and ending up as nom for the local eldritch aberrations.

1 slippery (wet or pebbles) - Dex 10 or fall, 1d3 nonlethal; Dex 15 & 1d6 lethal on incline	5 fast flowing stream; athl 15 to cross safely; 10+ slip 1d3nonlethal, soaked <10 swept away to other room; 2d6dmg
2 low ceiling - medium sized creatures roll acrobatics 15 to progress. <11: stuck, same roll or 1d3 dmg to tear free	6 pool of water; 1-3 clear, 3: small animals 4-5 bones, violet fungus 6 clear, odd taste - bowel cramps con 13 - 1d4 dmg, poisoned 1 hour
3 narrow ledge alongside pit; acrob 13	7 as 1-6, Darkmantle/Dolgrim/Dolgaunt
4 chasm, 10xd10ft deep & 1d3x5 feet wide; jump or climb to cross.	8 as 1-6, Colony Spider/Nothic/Myconid/Xorn