Holy sheet

Someone put a lot of time in the D&D 5E character sheet so you (and I) didn't have to. Enjoy.

New meat for the grinder

So your guy is now Wyvern dung, polymorphed into a frog, smeared all over the landscape by a landing dragon, or just dies of infection from a Kobold trap. (lol) If raising the dead is not in the cards, you'll need a new character to keep playing. Your options: start a completely new character, promote a sidekick, or roll up a guy to be the heir of your PC.

Inspired by / stolen from: Jeff Rients. Of course.

The new guy. Source.

Completely new characters will be made like starting PCs, with just enough XP to be two levels lower than the original PC, and only basic gear. A new PC can join the party immediately if the player desires. If the original PC did not specify an heir, his belongings can be claimed by the rest of the party.

You may play an heir to the dead PC and be entitled to the old PC’s non-magical treasure (minus a 10% inheritance tax) and one magic item of the player’s choosing. However, the heir can only join the party when it returns to civilization or at the start of the next session. Heirs must be of the same race as the deceased, and will be 2 levels lower than the original character, with only basic gear.

Finally, you may immediately promote a henchman to full PC status, with stats and gear like an heir. Henchmen dig down and find undiscovered strength; they rise from their own basic abilities to 2 levels lower than the original PC and can continue to level afterwards. If the original PC is de-digested, unpetrified or revived, the henchman will either revert to his original abilities, or strike out on his own. If a will exists (up to the player), the henchman can gain treasure and one item just an heir (above).

Bring back the body

When an adventurer dies and the party is unable (or unwilling!) to have them raised from the dead, an heir or promoted henchman (see above) may choose to give the corpse a Heroic Sendoff. This requires at least 24 hours and something cool like a bigass funeral pyre, the raising of a burial mound, or a funeral ship floated down the river. The corpse must be armed and armored for combat, as appropriate to the class of the character.

If the heir or promoted henchman donates all their non-magical treasure to the deceased as grave goods, they immediately gain another level (now 1 level lower than the original PC). If they also donate a magic item inherited from the PC, they rise to the start of the original PC's level. (No magic item to donate: no level.)

Other party members may donate up to 100gp times the level of the stiff as additional grave goods, with the amount being spent converted to bonus XP for the donor. Each party member may also donate one magic item to the grave. Scrolls, potions, wands and other one-shot items net a bonus of 250xp, while more permanent items get you 1,000xp. Magic items unusable by the deceased do not count.

Carousing and other ways to go mad

So you're back from the dungeon, loaded with silver and tall stories. Here's a couple of ways to blow your hard-earned cash and level up faster. Who needs sanity or a clean rep anyway?



Characters can spend downtime and loot to earn reputation, favors, gear, information and henchmen. Take your pick from throwing a party, doing research or going all religious on folks. Table for this last option my own work (can't blame someone else then...), would love to get feedback.

Stolen shamelessly from: Inspired by: Jeff Rients, Goblin Punch, Hack & Slash and Against the Wicked City.

GP for XP and syphillis

In one bout of downtime, you spend a location's [downtime die] x [downtime money]. Gain 1 XP for every gold piece spent this way. If you cannot pay the full amount, spend all your wealth and gain half XP (or proportional - whichever's less). You can try to take out a loan with a player or a friendly NPC. After the roll, make a save for unexpected developments.

You may choose to party/study/donate less hard by rolling on a lower line or turning the dice to 1 - decide before rolling. The last option means you do not get to roll for unexpected events. You chicken.

Size                 people              max store price (gp)      downtime die*  downtime money*

Metropolis        >25,000           16,000                          1d20                 250 gp

City                  <25,000            8,000                            1d10                   150 gp

Town                <5,000              2,000                            d8                   150 gp

Village              <2,000              500                               d6                    100 gp

Hamlet              <200                 200                               d6                    100 gp

Thorp                <50                   50                                 d4                    75 gp

CAROUSING

You throw a party and celebrate your exploits to boost your reputation. Roll downtime dice, pay, gain xp. After all the drinking and gambling and drugging and whoring? Make a Constitution save (DC15) and roll on this table:

Peasants carousing and
playing cards - Jan Massys

Failed your save (<15)

1. Bad batch or vicious hangover. -2 to all d20 rolls and 20% spell failure for 2d4 days.
2. Insulted a local of some importance. 1 challenged to a duel; 2 you pay +10% in shops; 3 low-lives will cheer and egg you on in the street.
3. Cannot hold your drink. Charisma save or this town will remember you as a drunken lowlife.
4. Shadowed for a week by 1 local criminals; 2 city watchman; 3 zealous priest; 4 eager bard.
5. Ever so slight run-in with local law enforcement. A succesful charisma check means you get off with a 2d4x25 gp fine; failure (or not being able to pay) lands you in jail for d6 days.
6. Ah, romance! Wake up in bed with a local, 1-2 agree to forget about it; 3 now in love with you; 4 already betrothed to someone; 5 as 4 but caught in the act; 6 wake up in wedding chapel.
7. Memory hazy, but your new henchman promises you to serve you to the best of their capabilities.
8. New tattoo, awesome! 1-2 pretty metal; 3 highly visible; 4 offensive to polite society; 5 can cast a 1st level spell once at 1st level, then turns mundane; 6 actually map of a nearby dungeon.
9. Now known as the life of the party. Next carousing attempt costs double (XP gained not doubled).
10. No-one knows why you jumped on the table and vowed to 1 cuckold the chief of the watch; 2 hunt down a great monster; 3 steal from the temple; 4 stand up against the evil swamp witch. But damn, do they expect you to follow through on it...
11. Find yourself out in the wilderness with five empty bottles and a snoring donkey.
12. Batch of prophetic drugs. Wisdom save or spout horrifying apocalyptic warnings for 1d3 nights.
13. Roped into attending pit fight. 1 lose 1d3 x 50 sp; 2 busted by the watch; escaped but one guard knows your face; 3 entered cage match, suffer 1d4+2 blunt critical.
14. Unlucky gambling; 1 2d3 x 10 gp debt to local crime lord; 2 agreed to deliver a parcel to a guard post across town; 3 prized posession taken as collateral for 50% of its value.
15. Insulted the local bard: 1 makes up annoying song which spreads throughout town; 2 spreads rumor that you aren't all that badass, lose half XP for carousing; 3 info for your next mission flawed in some way due to misinformation campaign.
    
    Straight from the Jeff:
16. You couldn't see the rash in the candlelight. Roll Constitution DC 13 to avoid a venereal disease.
17. One of us! One of us! You’re not sure how it happened, but you’ve been initiated into some sort of secret society or weird cult. Roll Int check to remember the signs and passes.
18. Wake up stark naked in a random local temple. 1-3 the clerics are majorly pissed off; 4-6 they smile and thank you for stopping by.
19. When in a drunken stupor you asked your god(s) to get you out of some stupid mess. Turns out they heard you! As repayment for saving your sorry ass, you’re under the effects of a quest spell.
20. The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire! Accidentally start a conflagration. Roll d6 twice. 1-2 burn down your favorite inn; 3-4 some other den of ill repute is reduced to ash; 5-6 a big chunk of town goes up in smoke. 1-2 no one knows it was you; 3-4 your fellow carousers know you did it; 5 someone else knows, perhaps a blackmailer; 6 everybody knows.

 Made your save (15+)

1. Life of the party. Good reputation and next carousing attempt, roll your Constitution save at +2.
2. Broke up the robbery of a local dignitary. Grateful victim will do you a favor; new contact.
3. You definitely did not expect to meet that person in that place. Awkward or food for blackmail?
4. Overheard a whispered conversation at the other table. DM answers one short question (10 words or less) about a campaign event or plot.
5. Scored truly awesome opium or other illegal substance. Value d6 x 50 gp; of you het caught using/selling, the fine is double that.
6. Gambling went exceedingly well. 1 Gain 1d3+1 x 50 gp; 2 standing invitation to illegal high stakes game with persons of influence; 3 now own a faintly magic (1 ring, 2 amulet; 3 belt; 4 backpack).
7. Where'd that come from? Stuffed into your backpack: 1 stack of illicit love letters between two unnamed nobles; 2 papers implicate an influential local figure in a variety of crimes and misdemeanours; half are high-quality forgeries; 3 personal seal of a high-ranking local official, currently away on business; 4 anonymous journal records in obsessive detail the suspicious activities of seemingly-innocent local citizens; 5 silver dagger; 6 poisoner's kit.
8. Won a securely closed box while gambling. 1 (un)holy symbols of all major religions; 2 glowing red gem and a summoning scroll; 3 beautiful wedding dress, wrapped in leather - soaked in lethal contact poison; 4 stash of very powerful, oddly-scented opium - dreams of a tower; 5 thick glass vial, sealed with wax and filled with viscous liquid and a piece of meat; 6 99 pieces of fairy gold.
9. Found a stack of letters in a bag under the table: 1 letter of recommendation which pronounces the bearer a mighty slayer of monsters; 2 land grant to a small holding out in the wilderness; 3 map with painstaking detail on how to navigate deadly reefs around an unnamed island, marked with an X; 4 notes on evading security in a local (1 mansion; 2 library; 3 temple); 5 letter of marque on condition of 25% of spoils to enemy nation; 6 forged bearer bonds for 2d4 x 50 gp.
10. Befriended a local bard. +10% XP for this carousing session. Gain a contact.
11. Highly amused person of influence enjoyed the night out and will help you make a problem disappear - once.
12. Otherworldly drinking buddy likes your style. +2 bonus on 1d3 d20 rolls of your choice. For an hour after you use this, exude a faint smell of 1 incense; 2 woodlands; 3 brimstone.

RESEARCH

Buried your head in the books or experimented with the arcane. Roll the die, spend gp/gain xp, then make an Intelligence save (DC15) and roll on this table:

Failed your save (<15)

1. Not the knowledge you were looking for. You black out and wake up in bed a day later. Cannot recall what caused this. 1 splitting headache (disadvantage on Wisdom/Intelligence) for a day; 2 lose knowledge of one attack spell; 3 3/4 of your spell slots expended; 4 weird yellow tattoo on left arm gives advantage on saves versus aberrations. They target you preferentially. 
2. You are convinced that one of the 1 moons; 2 months; 3 flavors; 4 colors is missing. Nobody seems to notice.
3. Crackpot. Your source is a lunatic and you learn little of value; gain only half XP.
4. Knocked over scrying mirror. Pay d8 x 100 gp in damages or owner presses charges - spend a week in jail.
5. Meditation session opened up your mind a little too wide. -2 to next Wisdom save.
6. Caustic smoke from alchemical experiment causes 2d4 damage; -2 to all d20 rolls for 3 days.
7. Your shadow got bored with the sitting and reading and mosied off. -2 to all Charisma rolls until it returns. 1 lost until purification rite (24 hours, 250 gp); 2 back in 1d3 days; 3 back in a day, but tracked by unsavory elements; 4: back in a day, spies on you for an opponent. You know this.
8. Learn a random hedge spell. Side effect: for a day after you use this spell, your presence... 1 curdles milk; 2 scares animals; 3 rots plants; 4 freezes things you touch.
9. Found (accidentally?) reading in a book of black lore. Reputation as a seeker of dark knowledge.
10. Glowing eyes for 2d6 days creep people the fuck out (or attract the wrong crowd).
11. Talking to yourself about your discoveries, you scared the townsfolk. 1 lynch mob; 2 visit from priest; 3 shunned in shops (+10% prize); 4 followed by cultist wannabes.
12. As master wishes! Gain the service of an Imp named Rotbelly for 1 week.

Made your save (15+)

1. Find recipe for a magic potion hidden in a library book.
2. Your helping a local librarian does not go unnoticed; gain a scroll of level 1d3. 
3. Your work helps opens doors; +2 to next Charisma check to influence a lorekeeper.
4. Prophetic insight: you can ask the DM a short question (10 words or less) about the supernatural and receive a true answer.
5. Mentor. You receive the service of a novice in your field (level 1 NPC spellcaster) for a month.
6. Reputation as a loremaster - once per session, can describe how someone seeks you out to ask about your expertise, and gain some useful insight from the exchange.
7. Spy an unexpected guest leafing through materials you would swear they don't have the knowledge to understand.
8. Distilled 1d3 astral tears, which will evaporate in a week. Each can be drunk to give advantage on one save.
9. Solving a complex piece of astrology, you find clues to where a meteorite of adamantium worth 3d4 x 100gp will fall.
10. Allowed to learn an extra spell up to your next-to-highest level and scribe it in your book.
11. Awaken untapped mental potential. Can cast 1 comprehend languages; 2 hideous laughter; 3 detect thoughts; 4 hold person 1/day at its minimum level.
12. Unknown otherworldly patron is impressed by your mind. Once a session, you can perform a 1 hour summoning rite, to ask one question related to the arcane or occult. Then make a Wisdom save or suffer disadvantage on Intelligence rolls until your next long rest.

PRAYER AND PHILANTROPY

(This table is my own design, not completely happy with it yet. I like how it pokes at the character's strength of faith, don't like how the effects are pretty bland compared to burning down the town or contracting witch signs.)

You donate to the poor and needy, and spend time focusing on your beliefs. Should work for both goodie two-shoes and those roll with Bane. Roll downtime dice and spend money, then roll on this table:

1. Word of your philantropy spreads throughout the community and more of those in need show up. Do you expend twice the gp for 1.5 times the xp, or turn them away?
2. Your sermon inspires youths to join you in your struggles. Do you gain 1d3 level 1 henchmen, or protect them from the dangers of your adventures by refusing their offer?
3. Your piety attracts attention from those in the church hierarchy. Do they warn you to stick to the official orthodoxy, or offer a test of your beliefs with a quest that serves only them?
4. The people ask you to settle in their community and become their priest. Do you accept and leave the adventurer's life, or do you honor your companions and remain with them?
5. Your donations attract a violent gang. Do you suffer an assault (1d8+2 slashing critical), bribe them with the same donation you gave to the needy, or rile up your community to cast them out?
6. An old friend has turned to different beliefs. Do you respect their choice or try to convert them?
7. Unrepented heathens suffer greatly from malady and hunger. Do you help them as an example of your faith, or leave them to suffer as the unworthy that they are?
8. Whispered conversations promise you greater power in return for your future aid. Do you accept twice the xp or try to tune them out?
9. An old woman says belief is easy for you, favored by the gods that you are. Are you confident in the favor of your deity, or do you vow to complete a quest without calling on their aid?
10. A person of wealth praises your donations to the community in public. Do you ask that they donate as well, or keep your tongue and receive gifts of gear worth half the gp you donated?
11. You think a well-known and influential fellow believer is only paying lip-service to your deity. Do you denounce them and risk the enmity of the masses, or praise them and receive a favor?
12. The holy day is upon you. Do you spend it in quiet meditation on the link with your deity, or go out in public to meet with fellow believers who are not so blessed?

Sight-seeing Eberron

Established settings save prep time. Or at least that was my idea before I got lost in Eberron minutiae. As much as I admire (and steal from) geniuses like Goblin Punch or Against the Wicked City or Yoon-Suin, building up a complete world like they do is not for me. I'm more of a "steal from the greats" kind of guy, taking an existing setting and fitting in my own little ideas. You don't have to figure out how law enforcement will respond to a bank robbery in a world of darkness game (load up on dragonsbreath rounds). Or think up a nefarious Dark Sun organization from scratch when the Veiled Alliance will do (fucking hippies).

All 250 Forgotten Realms
novels. Jesus Christ.

One risk, though: getting swamped by published material. Forgotten Realms is pretty famous for covering every square meter of real estate in one supplement or another. Take it all as gospel and it blocks creativity more than it gives me ideas.

For my upcoming Eberron campaign, I got that sinking feeling. The Dragonmarked Houses, the benevolent Inspired, Daelkyr* cults, warforged, talenta Halflings, the Draconic Prophecy, the Royal Eyes of Aundair - there's just too much in there to all cram into a campaign.
 * Scratch the Daelkyr, I'm still on tentacle probation after a highly successful CoC session that cost characters and players some sanity points. You trick them into eating their informants ONE TIME...)

Solution: take the players sightseeing and dip my toes in different parts of the setting. Each couple of sessions will focus on just one or two elements, and then we take the ones that resonate most and expand on those. (I realize that this "solution" is DMing 101. It's been years since I rolled dice, ok? Give me a break.)

To avoid spoiling things for my players, let's just say that I'll be cutting up Eberron with some Around the World in 80 Days and seasoning with Heart of Darkness. Happy exploring.

5e haus rules

What's a blog without some house rules to tweak the game? Here ya go.

Character creation

(Using Dnd 5E and the Eberron setting, for now.)

Name: Think up a background or just decide on the basics and write up your history during play.

Starting level: 1 (replacement characters can come in at higher level - see house rules)

Races: Dwarf, Elf, Halfling, Human, Gnome, Half-Elf, Half-Orc. No sub-races.

Eberron specific: Mostly here - Changelings, Warforged, Shifters (the only one race with sub-races that we'll use), and Dragonmarks. We're not using the artificer. Kalashtar here; their extra psi points also count for sorcery points (reskinning the sorceror to make a psion).

Abilities: choose how to stat out your character. Lower lines = more bragging rights.
Stolen from Zak S, but relabeled a bit because I don't actually game with pornstars.

    Cuddle blanket - arrange to taste: 16, 14, 12, 10, 10, 8
    Kid's gloves - roll 4d6 (drop lowest) six times, arrange to taste
    Hardass - roll 3d6 six times, arrange to taste
    Old school - roll 3d6 in order for each ability
    Or use this 3d6-per-ability method that also writes your background for you from Goblin Punch.

HOLD ON ACTUAL CHANCE TO OPTIMIZE YOUR DUDE AND MAKE FRIENDS 
Need more dough? Stats underwhelming? You can take out a loan with an NPC. Could be gold you're owing, could be something more intangible. Work something out with the DM. Rerolling your ability line (even switching to a different method) is free. Totally. Like, just ignore the DM writing down how many times you reroll.

Backgrounds: read the book or clicky here (Acolyte to Urchin only). Gives skill/tool proficiency, languages, starting gear, and a special feature. Pick this first, then choose a class so that you avoid doubling up on skills.

Classes: any class in the player's guide. No archetypes except cleric domains (discuss with DM). If you want to play a psion, discuss with the DM how to adapt the Sorceror.

Starting gear: from your background and your class, OR use alternative starting gear (below)

Alternative starting gear:
Happy shopping.
Monk 5d4 gp
Barbarian, druid: 2d4 x 10 gp
Sorcerer 3d4 x 10 gp
Rogue, warlock, wizard: 4d4 x 10 gp
Bard, cleric, fighter, paladin, ranger: 5d4 x 10 gp

Silver is the new gold

Musa I of Mali - richest fucker ever or just
a regular level 5 pc? - wikimedia commons

Because of arbitrary reasons of realism (I don't want my schmuck murderhobos to cart around enough gold to tank the economy), the currency standard is the silver piece (worth a standard D&D gold piece). 100 brass pennies = 10 copper pieces = 1 silver piece. Gold is stupidly more valuable: 100 sp = 1 gp. Platinum pieces are minted at 10 gp = 1 pp, but good luck finding them.


On second thought, constantly replacing gp-->sp sounds awfully much like actual thinking and I'll have to do enough of that when the players start wreaking havoc.
Scratch this one.

CAROUSING AND OTHER DOWNTIME

Lookie here, it's the carousing rules!

New meat for the grinder

Inspired by / stolen from: Jeff Rients. Of course.

So your guy is now Wyvern dung, polymorphed into a frog, smeared all over the landscape by a landing dragon, or just dies of infection from a Kobold trap. (lol) If raising the dead is not in the cards, you'll need a new character to keep playing.

Bards can help you find the next adventure

Who knew the whiny bastards were useful for something after all.