Belswick 24: PCs 1, Lich 0

How does a lich manage to die at the hands of five level 6 rubes? Careful roleplay and following Keith Amman's advice, that's how! In The Monsters Know What They're Doing, Keith sets out how to have a lich lay waste to adventurers in style - but also explains how a lich's arrogance can have it make critical mistakes.

Last time in Belswick, we left the players in the rooms of Xiximanter the Serpent Mage. Dude has been hanging out in the Tomb of the Serpent Kings, experimenting on ways to improve living creatures, cloning them and bringing them back to life. Something to do with the entire Serpent Folk empire dying off after raiding Heaven.

The PCs just want to clear this hole in the ground of any trouble, so they can turn it into a quarry for quality dressed stone. Needless to say, this will end badly.

Terrain: Dwarven Forge Dungeon of Doom and Hellscape (pedestal of pain). Mini: D&D's Sul Khatesh

OUR HEROES

TILLY - cleric and bard of the Authority, illegal scholar of the Du'van Serpent Folk, Warlock of the Radiant Maiden, buddy to Baltoplat the Succubus, wooer of the nyad in the Boswitch Bathhouse, and friend to ghouls everywhere.
SHAMS METALGROG - Dwarf fighter with minor arcane powers and a powerful drive to break away from her people and build a life under the sun.
GUY - wizard of the Augurs and Diviners and (after weird dreams in his youth) sometimes psion. Currently locked in psion mode and slinging around acid, nightmares and telekinetic punches like they're on sale.
LOMIN MOR - Elf acquirer of unsecured shiny, rogue and (when donning dress and wig) the rightful ruler of Fief Culfield and about to get married when he gets out of this dump.
MORTI FIZZLELOT - Gnomish artificer with an unhealthy appetite for experimenting with Things Better Left Alone. Currently turning Xiximanter's fungal cloning device into a walking sarcophagus-tank.

HOW IT ALL WENT TO SHIT

Xixi clearly hasn't spoken to people for centuries - let alone scatter-brained weirdos like these five. While some PCs try to bluff and negotiate, others try to rob the lich blind while he can see them. It all turns nasty when the party psion shows his powers, Xixi tries to stuff the psion and cleric (possessed of weird Du'van magic) into a holding pen, and instead takes Morti's rocket axe to the face.

HOW I NERFED XIXIMANTER

• Because Guy the psion wriggled his acid-covered fingers through a macguffin in Xixi's lab, there go the lich's lair actions.
• Based on Keith Amman's post and earlier knowledge of just how much damage this party can dish out, I left Xiximanter his legendary actions and saving throws.
• I wanted a reason for Xixi not to whip out his high level spells at the first time of trouble, so I specified that his lich state is flawed (rooted in backstory that I'm not sharing yet). He takes 2x spell level damage whenever he casts a spell. His arrogance reinforces that: he doesn't need high magic to wipe the floor with these guys!

NOTABLE ACTIONS

• Xiximanter relying on 3 cantrips a month (for 15-20 damage each) in addition to low-level spells, before he gets needled enough to break out the big guns.
• Morti dealing 40+ damage in 2 attacks through judicious use of sharpshooter feat and magical axe.
• Xiximanter using Dominate Monster to turn that Gnome into a handy meat puppet to attack Shams.
• Shams rushing forward with a great two-handed blow of her non...that doesn't even scratch the lich's skull. Shams switching to arcane spells (lich going WTF is this,
• Guy smashing his psionics through Xiximanter's magical defenses like a hot knife through butter and getting Thunderwaved into a wall for his efforts - dropping to 0 hp with a beautiful concussion!
• Xiximanter going for his stash of healing potions - only to discover that Lomin has swiped them!
• Tilly the cleric inspiring and actually healing his allies! Shocked faces on the Skype call. Doppleganger! The end times are upon us!
• Xixi catching Lomin and Morti in a beaut of a Cloudkill.
• Lomin dropping his bow and igniting his Sun Blade to move toe to toe with the snake skeleton. Xixi's eye-flames growing WIDE with shock as he recognizes the ancient holy blade straight through Lomin's (expensive!) illusionary disguise for it, and burning Shield after Shield spell to avoid getting wasted by it. Then paralysing Lomin with a touch...only for a restored Guy taking him in a telekinetic grasp and crushing the lich's bones to dust.

PLAYER LIKES

GUY
Stealing a healing potion, making the lich cry because Guy wrecked years of work, Lomin actually charging in, killer axes, the Dwarf that burned the Lich with a cantrip.


MORTI
Lomin trying to pick a lich's locker with the guy not 10 feet away 👍🏻
Very cool combat with lots of nasty surprises!
Tilly didn't get the chance to cut a deal (no doubt he'll get another chance) but very useful with his hex curse.
Guy is scary just really really scary
Shams, just had to takea swipe at Morti for the command monster (serves him right 🤣). Also well-placed healing potion.
Damn that command monster was bad! But on the plus side now he can read the Duvan instructions on his cloning machine 😈


SHAMS
Lomin being on brand and wonderfully cheeky.
Awesome Lich. Delightful quirks 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Morti is a bad-ass.
Guy is squishy.
Tilly, damn you and your love for the Du'van.
Breaking Ricky out of that binding circle was my best choice yet. Including the decision to stick with this group.


LOMIN
What a wonderful villain. Especially him pointing Guy and Tilly to the holding pen: "well go on, jump in". Legendary. I was slightly less of a fan of his combat skills...
Morti the axe maniac in in full effect. Too bad he was fighting us this time! (Something tells me it's very good that Lomin was hidden out of sight...)
Tilbørd just not having the chops to close this deal. Amazing!
Shams getting blocked by Morti pretty hard, but good for her for not getting roasted by that cantrip. Ricky was very active, even if invisible most of the time.
Guy was mainly very, very scary. But luckily on our side.
And Lomin? He was very happy with all the distractions you caused. And a bit richer, even if he had to use a dust pan to gather up that broken gem...
Oh, one final hilarious moment: DM informing the group that the lich has 1 hp left after Lomin's suicide strike with the sun blade. Then unleashing murderous counter which leaves Lomin at...1 hp with a little help from Tilbørd 😅


TILLY
Deal was out the window when the entire party walked in with me 😅
Then again, walking up to that lich alone would have been... unpleasant 🤨

Highlights:
We could have had a flesh golem, IF the group didn't deal such a truckload of damage 🤣
We would all have been murdered by that lich, IF the group didn't deal such a truckload of damage 😆
The lich was perfect - enough brakes on his powers and in-character bad decisions to give us a chance, but still very, very tense. We were close to a TPK 😅

Guy is a walking nuke. Morti a railgun. Lomin has a lightsaber and a sniper bow. Shams is a steel-plated Swiss army knife - good luck trying to pierce that armor, while she comes after you with sword, hammer, magic and healing potions.

LOOT AND REWARDS

After finally clearing the Tomb of the Serpent Kings, the party hits level 7!

• Lomin snatched two focus crystals from two cobra statues projecting a wall of fire. One fell and shattered into 350gp worth of gem dust, the other is a fist-sized emerald worth 450 gp.
• Guy snatched Xiximanter's spellbook and Lomin swiped a bunch of stuff from a locked chest. To be IDd next session: 3 potions, a heavy bag of chainmail, a platinum ring in an ivory box, a multi-colored stone in an amulet, and three tuning forks of milky-white crystal, red-flecked iron and ruby-encrusted brass.